I’ve seen more dissatisfied 20 something’s in SoHo than their counterparts in rural Jodhpur. I know that there is real joy and meaning to be found outside the secular system of wealth, status and eternal youth. It’s not our fault; it’s our programming. But the answers can’t be found in accumulating more. You knew that already. – Chris Michel, The Puzzle
I read The Puzzle at least once a quarter. And I’ve saved quotes from it to my Personal Bible (an evolving ebook collection of my favorite writings and life advice).
From philosophers to grandparents, we’ve heard them countless times. But, hearing something isn’t quite the same as observing it. I won’t bore you with specifics. Suffice it to say, I think the Buddha had it right when he said craving, desire and attachment are the sources of suffering.
I don’t think you can fully remove craving, desire, and attachment from your life. I crave Ichiran ramen in Tokyo. I desire alone time to read books on my Kindle. And I’m attached to my iPhone and that glow of unread messages and new notifications.
We are animals, and animals have emotions. We can no more remove emotion than we can become computers. No one makes real life decisions purely, or even mostly, through logic.
But Buddha knows all this. Of course he does. I don’t think Buddha’s point is that we must eliminate craving, desire, and attachment. He knows it’s not possible. I think he just wants us to become aware of this truth. To treat it like a natural law, like gravity and the sun rising in the east. And, once we acknowledge this wisdom, there seem to be two paths which we can follow. On closer inspection, however, they both lead to the same destination:
Path one is to want less if we wish to suffer less. The fewer objects we crave, the fewer people we attach to, the less moments of pain we will endure. Similar to stoics & ascetics, monks & nuns, we slowly remove and eliminate and detach ourselves from the world. With time and patience and meditation, we stop feeling pain. We stop suffering.
Path two is more complicated. Maybe we’re ok with suffering. Maybe we want a lover or a dream job so bad that we’ll gladly take the pain. And for Buddha, that’s ok too. He just wants you to understand them, to understand yourself. Because as you recognize and unravel the nature of your cravings and desires, you will learn to let them go. You will see them for the temporary, silly flights that they are.
You will see that it’s not the world which causes you to suffer, but yourself.
And that is his ultimate point.
PS I’m writing a book I call The Soul Habit, about how anyone (everyone!) should study religion as a source of wisdom, self-help, life advice. More details here.