Movie mini-reviews

Here’s everything, sorted by month. Feedback me here.

April and earlier:

Aristocrats [Rotten] –

Documentary about a well-known insider’s joke among comedians
The access is incredible – they interview every great comedian. It’s a great format – would love to see something similar for 50-100 once-great, now-retired athletes
I stopped watching after 20 minutes. I rarely used to do this, but I increasingly realize there’s SO MUCH GOOD STUFF and SO LITTLE TIME

Dredd [Rotten]

With sequels, I like simpler titles and this one does it right, not some lame shit like Dredd: Rediscovered
Really like Olivia Thirlby. Unconventionally sexy and captures your attention
Keep thinking of Karl Urban as that goofy Kirk-groupie in Trek. His “badass voice” sounds fake, unlike Arnold or Vin
The dialogue is ridiculous. Seriously:
- Character A: Chuck her in the deep end
- Character B: It’s all the deep end.
- Or this gem:
  - It’s a meat grinder…people go in one end meat comes out the other. All we do is turn the handle (me: wow)
I like how dystopic societies usually feature an illegal drug as the root of all evil. Examples off top of my head:
- Dredd (slo-mo)
- Looper (eye-dropper drug)
- Equilibrium (prozium)
- Brave New World (soma)

End of Watch [Rotten]

Another interracial bromance-y cop movie set in the ghettos with a smell-from-a-mile-away tragic ending? I’m there!
Liked their creative use of first-person POV (Blair Witch-inspired)
Great soundtrack…and lack of at right moments…wasn’t too aware of music except when appropriate
“Checkmate puto…rest in piss”
Jake Gyllenhaal just seems TOO comfortable onscreen. This guy has had way too much practice…he lacks genuine vulnerability
On a serious note: no studio should ever create another cop movie without a first call to Michelle Rodriguez

Equilibrium [Rotten]

Solid performances by Bale and Sean Bean (a good-looking guy with medium range, aka Boromir) and enjoyed young Taye Diggs
Big Mac movie – enjoy it while you’re watching it, no long-term value and feel gross at the end

Fast and Furious 4 (aka Fast and Furious) [Rotten]

Another great, simple title
Franchise really knows what it is, no shame in that
Paul Walker’s the J.R. Smith of actors. If you don’t understand what I mean read Bill Simmons
I would’ve loved to see Letty as Lara Croft
Why does Jordana Brewster always wear a summer dress?

Following Sean [Rotten]

Headhunters [Rotten]

Great movie: tons of action, exciting dialogue, diverse characters with great chemistry
Loved the Scandinavian (or perhaps more distinctly Norwegian?) flair for the grotesque
Jaime Lannister as the bad guy. Watch it

House of Cards [Wikipedia]

Stopped after 10 minutes. Couldn’t stand Kevin Spacey with a Southern accent while breaking the 4th wall. I do like Robin Penn, but not enough

Indie Game: The Game [Rotten]

Creators feel satisfied in a way that service workers and laborers and employees of “the man” do not. It’s all ego

Lincoln [Rotten]

Joseph Gordon Levitt is EVERYWHERE (Premium Rush, Dark Knight, Inception, 500 Days of Crap). Reminds me of Hugo Weaving on that tear with the Matrix…and Lord of the Rings…and V for Vendetta…
Faster is not always better. Lincoln was SLOW – speech…movement…
Ridiculous cast, which I guess happens when Spielberg helms the ship. For example, they even got David Strathairn, the guy I liked from the Bourne movies and Good Night, and Good Luck, to play a minor role

True Romance [Rotten]

Boy do I now love Patricia Arquette (how could you not love a girl who tastes like peaches and wears those awesome 80s outfits
How I decided to watch it: while picking up a tux at Men’s Wearhouse for David’s wedding, I started talking to the dude who was helping me about Sopranos (which we were equally obsessed with), and he said I had to watch this movie. Done
WHAT a cast: Dennis Hopper, Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, a stoner Brad Pitt, a borderline-normal Christopher Walken, James Gandolfini as a sadistic underling
Great Tarantino ending: slightly disfigured protagonists, an excessively-violent gun fight and lots of cliche dialogue

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 [Rotten]

Yes, I watched the other 4. And yes, I would watch the sequels (which seem like they’re coming)
Poor man’s X-Men (or poor woman’s, since they CLEARLY had the better powers)
Flash-forward is cool as a story-telling device
I noticed that a lot of the people in this movie don’t blink. Only noticed it first when they talked about it (“vampires don’t blink”), then I googled it, and discovered this clip from Michael Caine

Wreck-it Ralph [Rotten]

Nice little touches, like the 8-bit Disney intro clip
While writing this post, discovered that Sarah Silverman was the lead female voice. Even more awesome
How many guys my age fondly reminisce about Street Fighter 2? And of those, how many think they were god’s gift playing Ryu or Ken or Sagat? Because everyone else pretty much sucked…even Sagat to some extent…and Ken…
Like how they overturned the stereotypical “girl as princess” ending
Great casting…John Reilly even looks a bit like Ralph