The wisdom of Yoshida Kenko: on women’s laughter, painful hangovers and the 7 friends to avoid

It is a most wonderful comfort to sit alone beneath a lamp, book spread before you, and commune with someone from the past whom you have never met. — Yoshida Kenko

Essays in Idleness is a remarkable reminder of how things that are true stay true…even after 900 years.

Here were my favorite bits from his nearly-300 short essays:

I cannot bear the way people will make it their business to know all the details of some current rumour, even though it has nothing to do with them, and then proceed to pass the story on and do their best to learn more.

Desire is limitless, while money is finite. You cannot use limited resources to fulfill unlimited craving.

Aroma, for instance, is a mere transient thing, yet a whiff of delightful incense from a woman’s robes will always excite a man…

People will not take much issue with an invented tale if it shows them in a good light.

If someone new comes visiting, the boorish and insensitive will always manage to make the visitor feel ignorant by exchanging cryptic remarks about something they all know among themselves, some story or name, chuckling and exchanging knowing glances.

Even a deceitful imitation of wisdom will place you among the wise.

‘A beginner should not hold two arrows,’ his teacher told him. ‘You will be careless with the first, knowing you have a second. You must always be determined to hit the target with the single arrow you shoot, and have no thought beyond this.’

A man should be brought up so as to avoid being the butt of women’s laughter.

A man without stable means is a man whose heart is unstable.

One who considers himself superior through birth, skill or eminent forebears, even if he never expresses this, is full of error in his heart.

You should carefully consider which among the main things you want in life is the most important, and renounce all the others to dedicate yourself to that thing alone. Among the many matters that press in on us on any day, at any given moment, we must give ourselves to the most productive

The man who claims not to really understand is more likely to be thought a true master of his art.

It is very nice when a friend simply drops in, has a quiet talk with you, and then leaves. It is also wonderfully pleasing to receive a letter that simply begins, ‘I write because it’s been some time since I sent news,’ or some such.

On a moonlit night, a snowy morning, or beneath the flowering cherry trees, it increases all the pleasures of the moment to bring out the sake cups and settle down to talk serenely together over a drink.

Sigh:

I cannot understand why people will seize any occasion to immediately bring out the sake, delighting in forcing someone else to drink. […] A genteel man will quickly be transformed into a madman and start acting the fool; a vigorous, healthy fellow will before your very eyes become shockingly afflicted and fall senseless to the floor. What a thing to do, on a day of celebration! Right into the next day his head hurts, he can’t eat, and he lies there groaning with all memory of the previous day gone as if it were a former life. He neglects essential duties both public and private, with disastrous effects. It is both boorish and cruel to subject someone to this sort of misery. Surely a man who has had this bitter experience will be filled with regret and loathing.

Sorta get it:

The one thing a man should not have is a wife. No matter who the woman may be, you would grow to hate her if you lived with her and saw her day in day out, and the woman must become dissatisfied too. But if you lived separately and sometimes visited her, your feelings for each other would surely remain unchanged through the years. It keeps the relationship fresh to just drop in from time to time on impulse and spend the night.

There are seven types of people one should not have as a friend. The first is an exalted and high-ranking person. The second, somebody young. The third, anyone strong and in perfect health. The fourth, a man who loves drink. The fifth, a brave and daring warrior. The sixth, a liar. The seventh, an avaricious man. The three to choose as friends are – one who gives gifts, a doctor and a wise man.

A life hack:

One shouldn’t put new deer antler to the nose and sniff it. There is a tiny insect in it that will enter through the nose and devour the brain.

I’ve re-written a favorite Kenko passage here, if you’re curious.

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