Why don’t we get what we want? In one (Greek) word: Akrasia

At least 10 times a day, and probably closer to 100, I’m faced with a situation where I SHOULD do X, but I actually do Y instead.

I should wake up now. I actually hit the snooze button. Three times.

I should run another 2 laps, like I planned to do. Instead, I walk one and call it a day.

I should tell the waiter that this dish is too salty. I wind up just eating less of it and feeling dissatisfied.

This gap, between what we SHOULD do and what we ACTUALLY do, is something the Greeks knew well.

They even gave it a name: AKRASIA.

Akrasia is our inner weakness. It’s the gap between our expectations and our realizations. It’s our lack of (pick your favorite psychology concept of the day: willpower/grit/persistence).

Akrasia is like amnesia for our better self. Our better self knows what he should be doing: Finish the project. Get to bed early. Be kind to strangers. But instead, akrasia casts its magic spell and our better selves forget. We play Pokemon Go instead of working on our side business. We watch another episode of Narcos instead of sleeping. We get snippy at a slow cashier even though deep down we know it’s not her fault.

Akrasia knows we’re impatient. So she gives us rewards right here right now. She knows doing the right thing, the hard thing, those rewards don’t come until later. So she offers us one marshmallow, right now, and she sits back and watches as we scarf it down, instead of waiting for two later.

Akrasia knows we’re afraid. She knows we hate to fail, we hate to look bad, we avoid embarrassment at all costs. So she exaggerates risk. She distorts our ability to make calm, rational choices. She toys mercilessly with our emotions.

But in the words of Edward Murrow, we are not descended…from fearful man.

We have an ally in our corner. An ally that can beat akrasia time and again. An ally who is so strong and influential that he’s already everywhere in our lives, in the world around us.

That ally is habit.

Akrasia hates habit. Because habit defeats akrasia like it ain’t no thing.

Habit is an action repeated until it becomes automatic. With each repetition, that action becomes easier, more efficient, more effective. More unstoppable.

Habits can be simple, like flossing, and awesomely complex, like flying a jumbo jet.

When you build a strong habit, your willpower and grit and persistence no longer matter.

When you have a strong habit, impatience and fear don’t matter. You’re focused on action, not results. You know the outcome will take care of itself, with time, with effort, with repetition. Through building the habit, you accept that failure is inseparable from growth, from progress. You know what matters is the doing, not the thinking.

Habit shuts out akrasia.

That’s why you brush your teeth every night, no matter how tired you are, what kind of day you had.

That’s how a long-time vegetarian stops craving meat. They may even find it gross.

That’s how early birds wake up at 7am, even on the weekends, even after a late night out.

And that’s why you see the same ripped and athletic guys at the gym, day after day, at almost the same time, doing nearly the same routines. You think they don’t have slow days? Mornings when they feel tired, cranky, sore?

That’s the power of habit.

If there’s something you REALLY WANT from life, whether its to build a profitable business, or save enough money to travel the world, or lose 100 pounds, you must think habits first. You must consciously build the right habits, repetition after repetition, routine after routine, week after week.

Don’t worry about akrasia. Don’t fret that you lack willpower or grit

Frankly, none of that shit matters. The solution, like most good and real solutions, is very simple:

Build good habits. Build a habit driven life.

And kiss akrasia bye-bye.

I’m writing a book about habits. This is a working excerpt. Thanks for reading!

A Personal Bible: how to collect and review life’s most valuable lessons

April 2020: Here’s the latest PDF version

I read a lot, but I forget even more. Frustrated with the forgetting, I began to save my favorite readings into Evernote: Blog posts. Book excerpts. Forum threads. Poems. But once inside Evernote, all this wisdom was lost in the crowd, rarely to be discovered again. I didn’t have a reliable way to remind myself of what to review and when. Didn’t allow for serendipity or habit.

So I created a Personal Bible.

It’s a Microsoft Word document of my favorite text from over the years. Passages and sentences and excerpts that I want to read and re-read and absorb and marinate in. Whenever I have an aha! moment with text, I add it to my collection. From David Brooks columns to Malcolm Gladwell passages, from bucket lists to the Beatitudes, from writing advice to religious anecdotes. I try to read from it every day. Sometimes just a few sentences.

If we use the computer as an analogy, this document helps me keep life’s important lessons loaded onto my mind’s RAM. Lying just beneath conscious thought, available for quick and ready access.

Here’s the latest version you can download. Feel free to read it, edit it, use it as a template for your own.

I load the Word doc onto my Kindle and update it monthly. You may find some gems that you like. Better yet, I hope you’re inspired to create your own. If you do, please share it with me. I’d love to see what you curate for yourself.

Paul Saffo’s 6 rules to predict the future

Sometimes you read an article and wish you’d read it much earlier. Kinda like when I visited Japan in 2012 and regretted immediately that it took 28 years to visit.

This is one of those instances. Paul Saffo’s essay is a classic with great examples and insights. Read the original at Harvard Business Review. Below I rephrase his 6 rules to aid my own understanding (a practice that I find helpful).

Rule 1: Don’t predict AN outcome; predict a RANGE of likely outcomes

A good boundary is one made up of elements lying on the ragged edge of plausibility. They are outcomes that might conceivably happen but make one uncomfortable even to contemplate.

Rule 2: Visualize the S Curve – specifically, when you think growth will take off, and when it will slow or come to an end

Consider Columbus’s 1492 voyage. His discovery falls at the inflection point of Western exploration. Columbus was not the first fifteenth-century explorer to go to the New World—he was the first to make it back

Rule 3: Embrace the strange, the outliers. Very often that’s the future

The first Grand Challenge, which offered a $1 million prize, was held in March 2004. Most of the robots died in sight of the starting line, and only one robot got more than seven miles into the course. The Challenge’s ambitious goal looked as remote as the summit of Everest. But just 19 months later, at the second Grand Challenge, five robots completed the course.

Rule 4: Strong opinions, weakly held

In forecasting, as in navigation, lots of interlocking weak information is vastly more trustworthy than a point or two of strong information […] once researchers have gone through the long process of developing a beautiful hypothesis, they have a tendency to ignore any evidence that contradicts their conclusion.

Rule 5: Study the past…then go further

The recent past is rarely a reliable indicator of the future—if it were, one could successfully predict the next 12 months of the Dow or Nasdaq by laying a ruler along the past 12 months and extending the line forward. But the Dow doesn’t behave that way, and neither does any other trend. You must look for the turns, not the straightaways, and thus you must peer far enough into the past to identify patterns.

Rule 6: Forecasts are a tool to be used sparingly and strategically

But the Berlin Wall came crashing down in the fall of 1989, and with it crumbled the certainty of a forecast rooted in the assumption of a world dominated by two superpowers. A comfortably narrow cone dilated to 180 degrees, and at that moment the wise forecaster would have refrained from jumping to conclusions and instead would have quietly looked for indicators of what would emerge from the geopolitical rubble

If you like to think about and study the future, a quick plug for Alvin Toffler’s Future Shock [Amazon]. Published in 1970, its specific conclusions are dated but the questions that he asks and the methods that he uses are not.

Winners Always Finish: a review of the famous Grit study by Angela Duckworth

Behavioral psychology concepts tend to explode onto the scene like Billboard #1 songs. And then they’re discarded just as quickly. Only a few have staying power: Mikhail C’s description of flow and why it’s so good to get lost in your work. Carol Dweck’s concept of a growth mindset and the value of believing that failure isn’t a permanent condition.

To those two (and some others), I would add Angela Duckworth’s famous grit study. Like all psychology findings that stick around, it has a catchy keyword and it reveals a truth about human behavior that is both intuitive and surprising. Whether you’re gritty or not, you want more of it, and you especially want your kids to have it.

So I finally read the original research paper because I’m a nerd who is obsessed with habits, and I believe grit can be a habit.

The brief summary: “don’t give up and you’ll eventually succeed.” But there’s a lot more to the study and its findings. As academic research papers go, it was a fun one to read. I wanted to share some of the nuances and insights with you.

So what is grit?

Grit is “perseverance and passion for long-term goals. Grit entails working strenuously toward challenges, maintaining effort and interest over years despite failure, adversity, and plateaus in progress”

Winners always finish

Many people think that grit is about working hard and not quitting. But grit is also about FOLLOWING THROUGH on what you start. Gritty people commit to one pursuit, to the exclusion of others. They finish what they begin. That’s what makes them winners.

Follow-through is “evidence of purposeful continuous commitment to certain types of activities versus sporadic efforts in diverse areas”

“whereas the importance of working harder is easily apprehended, the importance of working longer without switching objectives may be less perceptible […] eg, a prodigy who practices intensively yet moves from piano to saxophone to voice will likely be surpassed by an equally gifted but grittier child”

The concept of follow through seems to be ignored when we talk about grit.

More notes and excerpts

  • if you’re conscientious, chances are you’re also gritty
  • grit is not correlated with general intelligence. in fact there is some evidence that it’s inversely correlated
  • high achievers [are] triply blessed by “ability combined with zeal and with capacity for hard labour”
  • forget 10 years of practice, 20 is even better: “over 10 years of daily deliberate practice set apart expert performers from less proficient peers and that 20 years of dedicated practice was an even more reliable predictor of world-class achievement”
  • grit increases with age and level of education (graduate students had the most grit…)
  • grit isn’t everything, especially when young. the authors specifically state, “a strong desire for novelty and a low threshold for frustration may be adaptive earlier in life: Moving on from dead-end pursuits is essential to the discovery of more promising paths”
  • but grit predicted things like: drop out rates during Westpoint’s summer Beast Barracks; performance at the National Spelling Bee; GPAs at the top universities; graduation rates at inner city schools

and just because it’s interesting:

“Participants (at the National Spelling Bee Finals) studied for the spelling bee an average of 2.25 hours per day on weekends and 1.34 hours per day on weekdays”

Angela gives a TED talk, embedded below. It’s interesting, although it’s not a summary of her research:

If you like these talks here’s my list of TED talks and notes.

More thoughts on grit

I’m reminded of Rule 50 from The Little Book of Talent: “Build grit, love the grind”

I’m reminded of David Brooks who says that love is both transcendent magic and a gritty commitment.

Paul Tough, in a podcast (it might have been an episode of This American Life), says that the ideal stage to start teaching grit is adolescence, when people first become “meta cognitive”. And to build grit, a close attachment to a parental figure is important (I suppose for the sense of safety and security?).

Thanks for reading! What psych studies / research papers are your favorites?

World famous chefs Rene Redzepi and Jiro Ono on habits: “The people who are truly at the top won’t say they want to retire after they are 70 or 80. They just fasten their belts after that.”

Jiro and Rene run Michelin-starred restaurants and are among the most respected chefs in the world. For twelve minutes they drink tea and talk about mastery. I wanted to share parts of their conversation. You can tell both chefs have built great habits of hard work and good attitude and pushing, always pushing.

Jiro: If you start saying “I don’t like this” or “this isn’t the job for me” you won’t become an expert in anything

Rene: When did you feel like you were finally a master?
Jiro: 50.

Rene: Did [you] ever want to stop?
Jiro: No. Never. I never considered that question. The only question was, “how can I get better?”

Rene: What makes you happiest?
Jiro: I can work. That’s the first and most important thing. I can work. After that, it’s especially great if you enjoy what you do.

Jiro: If you don’t learn to love your work and remind your brain to make new steps every day, there can be no progress.

Jiro: [on Rene] You are stubborn, right? If you aren’t a strong willed person, you can’t get to this. And you are sensitive, too. Both have to be there to become like this.

Jiro: The people who are truly at the top won’t say they want to retire after they are 70 or 80. They just fasten their belts after that.

Two masters discussing what they do best. A highly recommended video. 12 minutes long. Simply filmed, well executed.