My daily habits checklist

A checklist of habits that I try to follow daily

Inspired by Ben Franklin’s thirteen virtues, I created a habits checklist to complete each day. It lists my top daily habits. Tackling them gives the day some structure, like when to pop out of bed and when to go for a run. It helps establish priorities: writing is the most important, and the day always improves with a little meditation. This miniature system, of sorts, is my crutch for discipline and consistency without a regular job.

For now, I’ll publish my progress here every week. The habits overlap what’s described here, with the exception of two items: reading a book, and memorizing quotes. Book reading is a monthly goal. I worry that turning it into a daily habit could reduce the joy it gives me. At the same time, I know the goal will be reached, and has been for several years. My feeling about memorization is similar (this has become much easier with the adoption of Anki software).

What are your habits? How do you track them? I’d love to hear from you, and to “habituate” together! (can I use the word this way?)

The Power of Habit: more notes from one of my favorite books

I am reading again The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg [Kindle]. It’s my favorite behavior change book. Here’s a summary.

A reader alerted me to some supplemental content: a reader’s guide to applying the book’s ideas, and a thorough study guide for teachers.

So I read them and took notes:

  • try different rewards until you find one that makes the habit stick
  • for a reward to work properly, it must create a CRAVING over time (the way you might crave an episode of Rick and Morty ;)
  • all cues (aka triggers) fall into 5 categories: location, time, emotional state, other people, action that came immediately before
  • an effective cue should be simple and clear and fall into only a few of the 5 categories. for example, a good cue for exercise could be to hit the gym at 4pm (a time cue), when you return home from work (preceding action cue)
  • an activity becomes a habit only when mental activity decreases over time (so you’re not actively thinking about it)
  • focus on keystone habits, which are habits that influence other habits. for example, a keystone habit in families is to eat dinner together. i find that meditating for 5 minutes is my keystone habit. it simply makes my day better: i am calmer, get more done, less rushed, more focused, etc etc
  • “willpower is the most important keystone habit for success”

See my cheatsheet-summary-review here. If you want to change something annoyingly sticky in your life, read this book!

1-Page Summary: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

the-war-of-art-book-cover

The big ideas

  1. Resistance is the enemy. Resistance stops you from pursuing your dreams: writing a book. running a 10K. building a business
  2. Use Resistance to discover where your dreams and desires lie. Move in its direction, where you feel it most: the cold sweats, the tears, the doubts
  3. Beat Resistance with perspiration, not inspiration. Resistance fears commitment, craft, and dedication
  4. Don’t wait for the Muse to fight the battle for you. She will come only when you no longer need her
  5. Beat Resistance by building a territory. Pour your sweat and hours into it. Make it yours.

We should keep a careful diary of our moments of envy – they are our covert guides to what we should try to do next – Alain de Botton

Related things to read

Favorite quotes (12)

You know, Hitler wanted to be an artist. At eighteen he took his inheritance, seven hundred kronen, and moved to Vienna to live and study. He applied to the Academy of Fine Arts and later to the School of Architecture. Ever see one of his paintings? Neither have I. Resistance beat him.

Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work. It will perjure, fabricate, falsify; seduce, bully, cajole. […] It will pledge anything to get a deal, then double-cross you as soon as your back is turned. If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get. Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.

Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.

The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.

Often couples or close friends, even entire families, will enter into tacit compacts whereby each individual pledges (unconsciously) to remain mired in the same slough in which she and all her cronies have become so comfortable.

If you find yourself criticizing other people, you’re probably doing it out of Resistance. When we see others beginning to live their authentic selves, it drives us crazy if we have not lived out our own.

The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it. Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of Resistance.

Now consider the amateur: the aspiring painter, the wannabe playwright. How does he pursue his calling? One, he doesn’t show up every day. Two, he doesn’t show up no matter what. Three, he doesn’t stay on the job all day. He is not committed over the long haul; the stakes for him are illusory and fake. He does not get money. And he overidentifies with his art.

A pro views her work as craft, not art. Not because she believes art is devoid of a mystical dimension. On the contrary. She understands that all creative endeavor is holy, but she doesn’t dwell on it. She knows if she thinks about that too much, it will paralyze her. So she concentrates on technique. The professional masters how, and leaves what and why to the gods.

The pro stands at one remove from her instrument — meaning her person, her body, her voice, her talent; the physical, mental, emotional, and psychological being she uses in her work.

Next morning I went over to Paul’s for coffee and told him I had finished. “Good for you,” he said without looking up. “Start the next one today.”

When Arnold Schwarzenegger hits the gym, he’s on his own turf. But what made it his own are the hours and years of sweat he put in to claim it. A territory doesn’t give, it gives back.

*Hat tip to Brian’s Philosophers Notes for his usage of the phrase “the big ideas”. Thanks to Bethany Jae for her cover photo

The days are long, but the cosmic cycles are short

The Himalayas, it is said, are made of solid granite. Once every thousand years a bird flies over them with a silk scarf in its beak, brushing their peaks with its scarf. When by this process the Himalayas have been worn away, one day of a cosmic cycle will have elapsed.

From The World’s Religions [Kindle] by Huston Smith. An incredible book.

If the title sounds familiar, it’s thanks to Gretchen Rubin.

A Habit Driven Life

Follow the best way of life you possibly can, and habit will make this way suitable and pleasant for you. – Leo Tolstoy

My obsession with habits began with Charles Duhigg’s book, The Power of Habit [review]. His book was the first connecting line in what previously seemed a random scatterplot of life choices. Once he explained concepts like triggers and rewards and keystone habits, the dots began to connect. Life’s rhythms and routines began to make sense. I saw how habits influenced just about every life decision. What to eat for breakfast. How to spend my Sundays. Where to live and work. Even the timing of bodily functions. And it helped me understand the routines of success. For example, why CEOs wake up at 5am. How Stephen King writes 2000 words a day. Why great artists and philosophers all seem to enjoy long walks.

So I’m going to focus on writing about habits. And move the website from Kevin Random to Kevin Habits. Kevin “Random” has been fun but it was always a blank canvas. It was supposed to help me see what I was drawing. Who knew it would take four years, but the picture is pretty clear now: it’s about growth in all areas of life. Change is the only thing we can count on. And growth is simply directed change. So instead of fighting change, why not enjoy it and try to guide it?

As the old proverb goes, “for the first thirty years of your life you make your habits. For the last thirty years of your life your habits make you.”

I turn 32 in May. Those thirty years are up! And to make the next thirty years awesome, to be a better friend, son, partner, and writer, to be healthier, wiser, calmer, and more driven, I need to build powerful routines. Make them as the sturdy pillars of my day. Or put another way, on life’s canvas, habits are the pen-and-ink. They are an incredible technology for living.

The collision of two trends sparked this epiphany:

Trend one: I saw the relentless, taken-for-granted qualities of childhood slipping away like so much sand through time’s hourglass. Starting in my mid-20s and sloping down to my now-30s, it became harder to do the things that younger-me found easy, natural, thoughtless. Things like lifting weights for an hour. Hanging out with friends ‘just because’. Starting a new business because it was fun. The energy, optimism, and sheer recklessness of youth faded with every birthday, and they weren’t replaced by equal measures of patience, drive, and careful planning. Instead it was easy to be gloomy, tired, and frustrated. And scared. And a little depressed (forgive my casual use of the word).

Trend two: I finally understood in which direction to take my career: to write, often and well. This begins with blogging but won’t be limited by it. I’d like to try memoir, short story, and poetry. Writing is an intensely solo pursuit. Like all solo pursuits, it can be absolutely freeing. Free to wake up at 8am or 2pm. Free to write for six hours or thirty minutes. And free to spend the day lying in bed, streaming Netflix. No one will lecture or fire me. But — if I want to improve my writing, if I want to produce and publish and progress, I need less freedom. More structure. Yes, too much structure can suffocate, but too little structure can paralyze. Habits can help create structure. By building the habit of running three miles, three days a week, that’s structure for those days. With that structure comes all sorts of other good habits and routines and momentum.

Growing up, I hated habits. They were boring and tedious. They were for adults. Adults were the ones who ate the same cereal every morning and watched 60 Minutes every evening and wore the same stained sweatpants every Saturday. Too many habits means too little creativity. Too much perspiration can stifle inspiration. We’ll explore these tensions, too.

Habits are not about happiness. In many ways, they’re opposites. Happiness is the moment before you need more happiness, says Don Draper. Happiness is a fleeing feeling. It is packaged in a pure emotion that people take and then want more of. It comes on like a drug that helps you forget your problems. Naturally you want more, but it doesn’t answer the questions that nag you during those quiet moments when it’s 2am and you can’t sleep because your brain feels like an itch you can’t scratch. During those empty moments when you arrive early for the weekly 11am meeting and no one else is there and you sit staring blankly at the wall, wondering where the day and week and month have gone.

On a brighter note, heh, the new website will feature new projects, including my first foray into YouTube videos. And singing. Yes, singing. Yikes!

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most,” says Abraham Lincoln.

Along the way, I’ll try to share everything. The benefits of transparent writing almost always outweigh the costs. For example, one habit I’m working on is, in the evenings, to write and rank my priorities for the next day. Doing this allows me to wake up fresh and intent and knowing where to go. It’s the mental version of choosing tomorrow’s outfit and placing it on your dresser, so you don’t need to spend ten minutes staring in your closet at eight am, bleary-eyed and rushed and irritated.

That’s it, folks! Thanks for reading, and sorry for using the h-word almost fifteen times…tweet or email me if you have any thoughts or questions or reactions.

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