Recent good quotes: “If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less” – General Eric Shinseki

So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. – Dale Carnegie

Fortune is not only blind herself, but blinds the people she has embraced. – Cicero

If you don’t like change, you’re going to like irrelevance even less – General Eric Shinseki

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. – Carl Jung

When we see our uniqueness as a virtue, only then do we find peace – Ghost in the Shell

Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality. – Bruce Lee

You take the blue pill—the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember: all I’m offering is the truth. Nothing more. – Morpheus in The Matrix

A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have – Tim Ferriss

Question to Bill Belichick: “With all you have accomplished in your coaching career, what is left that you still want to accomplish?” Belichick’s answer: “I’d like to go out and have a good practice today. That would be at the top of the list right now.” [source]

The 6 simple structures of the most enduring stories

What is also interesting is that the 6 structures below are really just 3 structures, with their exact opposites (eg, Oedipus is the exact opposite of Cinderella).

The computer scientists found that a huge percentage of stories fit into one of six relatively simple structures. They are, borrowing a chart from Reagan’s team:
1. Rags to Riches (rise)
2. Riches to Rags (fall)
3. Man in a Hole (fall, then rise)
4. Icarus (rise, then fall)
5. Cinderella (rise, then fall, then rise)
6. Oedipus (fall, then rise, then fall)

I can’t find the original source, but here are similar articles explaining the same research.

A few highlights from “How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World”

I’ve only read the sample, but it’s fantastic. I just bought the full book today so I’ll let you know how the rest of it goes. Until then, here are some great quotes from that Kindle sample:

The paradox is that you have tremendous control over your life, but you give up that control when you try to control others. For the only way you can control others is to recognize their natures and do what is necessary to evoke the desired reactions from those natures.

Each individual is acting from his own knowledge in ways he believes will bring him happiness. […] You have to treat things and people in accordance with their own identities in order to get what you want from them.

To find happiness, you must know how your unique emotional nature responds to things. You must observe and take seriously your own emotional reactions. For if you attempt to fit your emotions to a preconceived standard, you lose touch with yourself and blind yourself to the most important part of yourself —to what would make you happy.

I’ve found that it’s a good rule to never make an important decision when your emotions are in control. I try to program myself in advance to remember this rule when I need it. When I’m in an emotional state (either positive or negative), I try to keep just enough intellect working to tell me one thing: don’t decide now. I wait until I’ve relaxed and can think more clearly.

You’re in the Intellectual Trap if you let your intellect tell you what you should feel. You’re in the Emotional Trap if you let your emotions make important decisions for you. Both traps lead to trouble.

The absolute morality fails on its two important characteristics. Even if you choose to believe there’s a higher authority, you are the authority who chooses what it is and what it is telling you to do. And since you’ll always be considering consequences, even if you try to fix it so that you aren’t, it’s important to deliberately recognize the consequences and decide which ones are important to you.

Apostle Peter and the 8 qualities of an effective, productive life

I don’t know how I chanced upon this blog, but I think that its message – whatever your creed – is a good one.

He cites the following Bible verse from Apostle Peter:

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Faith. Goodness. Knowledge. Self-control. Perseverance. Godliness. Mutual affection. Love.

These are qualities that everyone can aspire to. Even the qualities of Faith and Godliness. If you’re Buddhist, for example, you can think about Faith and Godliness in a Buddhist context: how to place your faith in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha. Or if you’re agnostic, you can develop and grow your Faith in the goodness of human nature and the benefits of Science and Knowledge; you could aspire to Godliness as a general ideal of good behavior and virtuous living. Etc.

Dan Ariely on relationships and dating (talk at Google)

I’ve always found Dan to be one of those uncommon academics who is full of surprise and delight. You can tell he enjoys his job, and his enthusiasm infects his audience too.

A couple of notes I took:

  • He likes the “canoe test” for relationships; imagine rowing a canoe in rough waters with a partner; can you navigate something tough and unpredictable, where you must cooperate; plus the upside is that it’s an exhilarating outdoor experience, can bring you closer
  • First time I heard this concept of the “Lesbian bed death”; around year 7, lesbians stop having sex, and in general the finding is that lesbian couples have the least sex of any pairing; but (my personal opinion) this is probably a common pattern in most relationships, lesbian or not
  • When they studied arranged vs love marriages, they found that love marriages start happier (self rated), but decline, while arranged marriages start less happy but rise; the slopes / scores cross at year 3 (!)