Tag: nerdy lists

List #4: don Miguel Ruiz and the Four Agreements you should make with yourself

Whatever life takes away from you, let it go. When you surrender and let go of the past, you allow yourself to be fully alive in the moment. Letting go of the past means you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.

*For the next list, I’ll probably create a slideshow and publish it to YouTube

In today’s edition of Nerdy Lists we have don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements [Kindle].

A short simple book with intuitive wisdom on how to create a fulfilling life. If I take away one lesson it is: never ever listen to the negative voices in your head. It reminds me of what Lucy Malory said: “Every thought a person dwells upon, whether he expresses it or not, either damages or improves his life.”

The author’s life is fascinating: youngest of 13 kids, surgeon who becomes a shaman after a near death experience, born in rural Mexico and now a bestselling author fluent in English and Spanish.

The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz. You should agree to…

1. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment…Under any circumstance, simply do your best

2. Say What You Mean. Mean What You Say

Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.

3. Never Take It Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. It is because of themselves.

4. Never Assume

Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.

*The agreements are reordered and rephrased in a way that I prefer. For the original, check wikipedia.


(author Miguel Ruiz on Oprah’s Network: “Be impeccable with your word”. Did you know impeccable is Latin for “without sin”?)

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite lists? Here’s the collection :)

List #3: David Brooks and the 4 Commitments that define you: “It’s the things you chain yourself to that set you free”

David Brooks is my favorite big thinker, a more grounded version of Alain de Botton. A longer essay about David Brooks and his work is coming, but for this week’s edition of Nerdy Lists I want to introduce his Four Commitments.

The people we admire most, Brooks says, make FOUR commitments: to family & friends, to a lifelong vocation, to a belief system, and to a local community. These commitments are hard to make and even harder to sustain, but they define us. People who make them are moral exemplars, our modern day heroes who improve the world and inspire everyone around them, both in person and from a distance. People like Atul Gawande and Dorothy Day and Stephen Lerner.

Brooks shared these commitments in his Commencement Address at Dartmouth:

David Brooks’s Four Commitments

“In the realm of emotion they have a web of unconditional love. In the realm of intellect, they have a set, permanent philosophy about how life is. In the realm of action, they have commitments to projects that can’t be completed in a lifetime. In the realm of morality, they have a certain consistency and rigor that’s almost perfect.” – David Brooks in The Atlantic

1. To Spouse and Family

Love humbles you. It is both a gritty commitment (like washing dishes) and transcendent magic. And love is not zero-sum: the more you love, the more you can love.

2. To Career and Vocation

A vocation is something “that summons you”. You feel drawn to it, called towards it, despite pressures and obstacles that would push you away. The most important passions are often found, importantly, not by looking within, but by looking at the world and seeing where there is a void, where people need help.

3. To Faith and Philosophy

4. To Community and Village

I wonder if Brooks would make an exception for strong online communities. It would be interesting to get his take on self organizing groups like Wikipedia and bitcoin and reddit.

And how do you become like these role models?

  • Through habits: fake it til you make it. Organizations like Alcoholics Anonymous are very good at helping you do this
  • Like St. Augustine: continually examine and question yourself
  • By imitation: surround yourself with admirable people and mimic them!

“It’s the things you chain yourself to that set you free”

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite lists? Here’s the collection :)